Ok, maybe this sounds silly but stick with me on this. Maybe I shouldn’t have had that 4th handful of apricots, but damnit they’re tastey. And I was doing my best to be a champ about it and take the whole situation in stride. So no, I didnt let one rip in public, but you made everyone think I did mr. fake-fart. You, the gurgling gluttoral noise creeping from my stomach while I was clinching my cheeks together. No gas was passed, and yet, I digress. What gives man, you’re dropping the ball. Go away, I don’t like you.

While were here on this subject,

Mini nobody-likes-you:
Really loud poops that only happen in public. Amirite guys? This cant be conformation bias.