Ladies, I’m pretty sure you know that Mens Restrooms have urinals in them, but I realized I haven’t the foggiest idea of what goes on in Womens Restrooms as I was writing this post. I saw a couch in one once. A COUCH. Moving on. So there seems to be this unwritten rule, that if a restroom happens to have an odd number of urinals (say 3), you are to step to either the left or the right when there is no one there, so as to allow maximum distance from other mens penises if one should happen in and also need to pee. Now, this creates a sticky situation during periods of high usage. A typical response is to simply use the stall and avoid coming within proximity of another penis (and hopefully “the gay” that comes along with it). People who use a stall when there are spaced-urinals open are a whole different blog post. SO FINE other-dudes-I-don’t-know, if you wanna space out and do whatever and waste water with real-toilets instead of urinals, thats all well and good. But if I’ve gotta pee, and theres 2 of you standing at urinals 1 and 3, and I happen to use urinal 2, DONT GIVE ME THE STINK EYE LIKE I’M ABOUT TO START GOING MEATSPIN.COM ON YOU (um, don’t go there if you dont know what it is, really). The crux of the matter is, with all this implicit homophobia, guys at large don’t seem to realize its totally chill to see a penis; you have a penis, I have a penis, half the population has a penis. Totally legit thing, this “penis.” So guys, just remember, seeing a penis doesn’t make you gay, but your rampant refusal to look at a dick may just build up enough tension that your curiosity overwhelms you at some point in your 30’s and you have a night with your buddy that you spend the rest of your life pretending didn’t happen. But it did. Oh, it did. Now go away, nobody likes you.